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MY BOWELS WON'T MOVE  1998
(lyrics by Guy Thomas)  Writer(s): Loggins Kenneth Clark, Messina James M
The Jewish lady is played by Janis Liebhart. Oy gevalt!

My bowels won't move
And my bladder has no control
My bowels won't move
And my bladder's lost all control
When evening rolls around you'll find me
Lyin' down in bed
You know I'm getting' old

The old folks say
That I'm startin' to look a lot like them
My hair is getting' gray
And I'm coughing' up a lot of phlegm
My bladder won't obey
And you know I gotta say
I'm out of Depends
Once again

And it's all because
My bowels won't move
And my bladder has no control
My bowels won't move
And my bladder has no control
When evening rolls around you'll find me
Lyin' down in bed
You know I'm getting' old

We pull into a Deli
It takes a while to park
And as the waitress seats us
Well you know I had to fart
I'm hopin' no one noticed
My foul smellin' breeze
But the Jewish lady next to us says
"Oy Gevalt! What's that smell??!!"
Ooo weeee
My only  plea
Is "It wasn't me!"

And it's all because
My bowels won't move
And my bladder has no control
My bowels won't move
And my bladder's lost all control
When evening' rolls around
I chug Mylanta down and I'm stayin' in
I say it again
I'm stayin' in
I say it again
I'm stayin' in
I say it again