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(Guy Thomas)  2015

When I saw the paper
Laying in the lawn today, oh yeah
I'd like to be like that paper
And just lay around all day, oh yeah
Cause my hair is growin' thin
Grey hairs on my chinny chin chin
I'm kind of wasting away here
Got that weird taste in my beard 
I feel like I could disappear 

Come on help me out agent man
Only you can understand
Why I am like I am
So what you got for me, my agent man?

You put me on your back burner
Well don't think that I don't know
The score
You might think that I'm a slow learner
But I know when I'm being shown
The door
Can you stop this bleeding heart
Just get me to read the part
I know I'm not on your "A" list
Maybe not even on your "B'" list
What happened to
"We got to get you noticed."

Come on help me out agent man
Only you can understand why
I am like I am
What you got for me my agent man

I don't mind last minute cattle calls
Lines that stretch half-way down the halls
You won't ever hear me complain 
I never complain about anything at all  
I'm on it

Come on help me out agent man
My rent is overdue and the landlord
Is at my front door again
So come on give me somethin' agent man
Do you got anything at all, agent man